Dear Departed One,
Even though we never really got a chance to say good-bye, I realize I’ve been watching you leave for years.
Ever since that traumatic day in high school, things haven’t been the same between us. You were broken, and I was in pain. Neither one of us had much to offer.
Therapy worked for a while, but you just couldn’t do what I asked of you. Trust was lost, and I turned elsewhere for support.
So, it wasn’t all you. We’re both to blame.
In the early years, when I refused to slow down long enough to get you the treatment you needed, you braced yourself season after season. You rarely complained, and I was grateful.
Later, when we had the extra stress of pregnancies, you protested, but you recovered enough to help me keep up with four children. Thank you.
Time and again, you graciously warned me that you were near the end of your rope. Selfishly, I minimized your needs and pushed you unmercifully.
You were damaged and weak, but I can be careless and cruel. We were doomed from the start.
I know it’s painful to hear, but I’ve found another, and life is better already. My new and improved partner offers me youthfulness, comfort, and a whole new world. I hope you find the rest and peace I wasn’t able to give you.
Please know I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you. You were my first, and I’ll never forget the good times we had together.
Remember when we won that jump rope contest when I was 9? And those afternoons spent racing around the block on my bike? I loved our long summer days at the pool, and I had so much fun playing soccer, basketball, and field hockey with you.
Thanks for the memories, my dear left birth knee. I wish you well.
But let me be very clear: we’re never, ever, ever getting back together.
I’m a teacher at heart, married twenty-eight awesome years, and have four amazing kids. I live in St. Louis and work at my church. I also occasionally round up some words here (this is my blog). I love laughing and finding ways to make others laugh. A great day for me involves a fancy grilled cheese sandwich, a good book, a long walk, and watching sports. My very favorite things are the St. Louis Blues, family parties, and back-deck happy hours with my husband, Jeff. But I’m crazy about my new left knee! 🙂