Oh, I didn’t know how much I needed you until you were gone. I’ve spent so many hours in the middle of the night mourning your absence, and so much of my days dizzy and sick since you’ve left me. There was even a time, a short and precious time, that you came back to me. I didn’t take you for granted again, however. But like a thief in the night, you were gone once more.
Words have lost meaning. Emotions have peaked. I am constantly fumbling with things and walking into walls. Missing you has turned me into a person I don’t even recognize.
Precious, precious sleep! I long for the days when I could have you for as long as I wanted, days when the thought of you wasn’t ensnared in anxiety.
But I traded you in for something better. Actually, I gave you to someone better, to two little someones.
Typing this letter to you at 3 A.M. on my phone, while rocking my baby so she could be with you is the most precious thing.
Thanks for the forty winks,
I am Jenny Smith and I am an East Coaster who loves the West Coast, but I’m currently trying to find my place in the Midwest. I am blessed to work in children’s ministry at Central Presbyterian Church. I’m married to my high school sweetheart, Taylor, and we have two daughters, Autumn (2) and Holly (3 months), two dogs, and two cats. Caring for our crew is exhausting in the best kind of way! In our hour of free time each evening, we often like to recharge by enjoying two big bowls (that’s right, we don’t share!) of popcorn after the girls go to bed.
It’s not a good day until I spend some time outside, and I require dessert after most meals. I’m really terrible at small talk, but I love meaningful conversations (just not over the phone). And if you ever need to find me, I am probably off taking a walk somewhere!