Captain Tick Tock

Curled up on the couch with his sketchbook in hand, my son asked, “Mom, if you had a super power, what would it be?”

Within seconds, I replied, “I’d be able to control time. I would fast forward, pause, slow down, and rewind the hands of the clock at will. My name would be Captain Tick Tock.”

Clearly, I had thought about this before.

With raised eyebrows, he studied me for a few seconds as if seeing me anew. “Wow, Mom,” that’s actually a really good one.”

“I know, right?”

He went back to his pages filled with superhero drawings. I had a feeling Captain Tick Tock was about to be added there.

Just before bed, I spotted the finished drawing on the coffee table

:

As I admired my son’s artwork, I reflected on how many times over the years I had longed for Tick Tock’s powers…
When the kids were little, I would have handed over serious bank in order to fast forward the day to “Daddy’s home o’clock”. When the kids got a little older, I would watch them learning and playing together, and wished that I could hit the pause button to freeze time at that perfect place. Now that I have so many years behind me, I find myself fantasizing about rewinding the clock so I could re-do, re-think, or re-visit my past.

Even earlier that very day I had lusted after Tick Tock’s skills:
  • Stressed while behind an elderly lady in line while she fuddled with her “pocketbook” —fast forward!
  • Panicked after noticing that my youngest child is at the brink of adolescence — pause, please!
  • Angry at myself when I knowingly passed up an opportunity to love my husband — rewind, right quick!
These memories and emotions give me away. My “Captain Tick Tock” answer runs deeper than just a fun thought about super powers. The bottom line is, I want to control what I can’t. The window of my heart opens once again, and out pops the ugly cuckoo-head of Pride.
It’s humility when, instead of fast-forwarding, I submit to His pace while the world rushes by. I can’t hurry a child to learn algebra, or a conversation to satisfy its purpose, or health to be restored.
It’s humility when I trust that His Grace is bigger than the mistakes I’ve made in the past, instead of rewinding through regret, blame, or despair.
It’s humility when I let go of one stage of life and move forward to embrace the next.
It’s humility when I remember that my time isn’t really mine at all. Isn’t each moment for Him to reveal Himself? Isn’t the point of each hour to glorify Him? So that I can be changed? So that others may know Him?
Suddenly, my cape feels like it’s choking me. 
But, I’m not a superhero. I can’t muscle my way through my day in the name of peace, patience, and the Christian Way. If I stand in line at the grocery store and think about me being patient, that’s not exactly humility is it? It’s me focusing on me changing me. It’s pride disguised in a super suit of a different color and there is no power there.
My focus needs to be on the One who is not bound by time, but is the Master of it. If I focus on Him, He can change me so that I live in the rhythm of His perfect pace.
Minutes creep and years fly, but God is super and He has the power.


The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.  2 Peter 3:9

 
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