Dear angry teen,
Oh, how I have whispered ugliness against you. Your rolling eyes and your sassy mouth. You have a question, filled with contempt, on the tip of your tongue at a moment’s notice…
Why did you make this decision?
Why don’t you see things my way?
Why won’t you let me?
Why do you care so much?
Why don’t you do things like so-and-so’s parents?
I judge you and tell myself you will understand some day…some day when you have children of your own. And the minute that thought pops into my head, I’m convicted.
I mean, let’s face it, that is true. You will look back and be grateful for the ways in which you were provided for and protected.
I know that firsthand.
However, I’m convicted because I do know this truth so firsthand. You see, you are me. I remember like it was yesterday all of the questions I had in my mind for my mother. Everything she did. Everything she said. I was convinced she had no idea what she was doing. How could she be so much older than me and so completely confused about all of life? I was a master at eye rolling, and I certainly had a world class sassy mouth.
The conviction comes when I dig a little deeper and reflect on my emotions at the time. I felt misunderstood. I felt a little lonely. In many ways, my teen self felt anxious and scared about a world I didn’t really understand but I was desperate to navigate on my own.
I understand now that my brain was probably developing out of sync with the parameters put around me. I thought I was prepared for more than the world of being a child under a parent’s roof allowed. Only now am I thankful, not resentful, of those parameters. That takes some time to sort out.
Sweet child of mine, in those moments where your anger challenges me, I pray God gives me the strength to pause and dig a little deeper. Maybe I can ask questions that help you see that I am seeking to understand and meet you where you are.
I’m so grateful that you are feeling bigger, feeling like you are ready. Someday soon the parameters that keep you on the ground now will fall away, and you will be truly ready to fly.
I pray the Lord helps me in my sin to not whisper ugliness against you but allows me to not see your questions as a challenge to me personally. I pray that I can point you toward your Lord in your questioning. I pray that you feel seen and heard and deeply loved, by me and your dad and your heavenly father.
Keep pushing,
Mom
Lisa has been married to Andy for 18 years. They have 4 children, ages 15, 13, 12 and 9. They are in the thick of life with teens and pre-teens and have absolutely no idea what they are doing. Lisa is the Business and Project Manager at Central Presbyterian Church. She loves a good craft, a hot cup of coffee, and the amazing group of women the Lord has placed in her life.
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