What it will be like to stand before God? Many of us envision this scene. Some picture it to be a throne room with God and Jesus sitting side by side in all glory and splendor. Others imagine file cabinets full of debts with Jesus marking each one “Paid in Full” as God smiles in approval. Still, there are some who think of pearly gates or even floating cherubs. To be honest, my brain has entertained all of these scenarios. But lately, my wondering hasn’t been about what I will see in Heaven. I’ve been simply wondering which “Me” will be there.
Yes, there are a lot of Me’s. Now, don’t panic. I’m not talking mental disorder here. I am not delusional nor do I hear voices. I’m just complicated. Let me call roll and explain…
If you have taken a class or studied with me, you’ve probably met SeriousMe. She likes to read and discuss what she has learned. She’s a thinker, observer, journaler, and blogger. When I consider her to represent “Me”, I immediately start to yawn. Would God survive an eternity with SeriousMe? Seriously?
ServerMe is more exciting. She’s a busy, bustling blur. She may have delivered a meal to you after having a baby or you’ve possibly served with her at church. GuiltyMe is her best friend. They are rarely apart. They might seem like wise picks to be chosen, but cleaning, stacking chairs, and making casseroles? Seems like a pretty limited skill-set to last forever…
If you have ever worked with me, I’m sure you know ControllingMe and EfficientMe. They are confident, competent, and productive, Their work ethic is impressive and inspiring, but their posture verges on being critical and cocky. They receive many accolades, but God doesn’t overlook attitude, right? Maybe we should move on…
FunnyMe hangs around everywhere. If you know me at all, you’ve met her. She tags along with many of the others. They count on her to fill in awkward gaps, to avoid pain, and to hide weaknesses. I like her a lot, but when I think of her standing before the Almighty…well, suddenly no one’s laughing.
CoolMe might be a decent pick. She doesn’t overthink things or take herself too seriously. She likes to hang out and enjoy the easy part of life. She is sometimes guilty of avoiding work and living in denial. She is definitely the family’s favorite, but that’s because she allows overindulgence. I wonder…would God approve of her, or would she seem like a slacker?
If you have ever lived with me, or have spent time with me lately, you’ve noticed WorryMe. CoolMe and FunnyMe try to pretend she doesn’t exist, but she has a very strong presence in the group. She pokes, prods, and intimidates many of the others. She has little memory of the past, a bleak view of the future, and a very tight grip. No one likes her, and I’m confident that God won’t either.
There are others. Most of whom I hide from His view. HormonalMe, AngryMe, and ImmatureMe will never make the cut, for sure. There are others that I’m even too ashamed to name.
Which of these will be the Me who stands before God? Which Me will be handed the Grace Ticket into His Presence? What version of myself will be worshipping Him forever? I can imagine none of them being right for that role. Not one.
One morning, SeriousMe gathers a group of candidates. She likes to get to the bottom of things and needs to know, once and for all, which Me He would choose. So she asks. While waiting for His answer, she observes the group. Even these top contenders make not a pretty crowd. ControllingMe jockeys for position while GuiltyMe pushes to the back. FunnyMe pokes her neighbor and asks, “Are we being punked?” She cracks herself up, but WorryMe silences her with a look and a grip on her arm. SeriousMe realizes that there is no one….
He points to the cross and reminds all of us that there is One who is worthy. Jesus’ perfectness covers me, all of me, so that I am made righteous. Suddenly it’s not about making the cut or putting my best Me forward. With new freedom before Him, the hidden and nameless others move into plain sight for Him to see.
He speaks to the collective heart of all of the Me’s. He explains that we each play a part in making Me whole and that He is using things in this life to unite Serious, Serving, Guilty, Controlling, Efficient, Funny, Cool, Hormonal, Angry, Immature Me, and the others, into one worshipping being.
Since my sin-disease has disfigured the gifts shown by each Me, it’s impossible to imagine how…
SeriousMe will think and not be burdened. She will join FunnyMe who will bring joy and laughter with complete health and pure motives.
ControllingMe’s organizational and leadership gifts will be used for His glory and CoolMe will delight in working with diligence.
God assures WorryMe that she will be free of anxiety. He delights in sharing with her that He can make good use of her strengthened grip. Nothing wasted.
When I’m called to my Heavenly home, all of Me will be there. Unlike now, it will be impossible to detect where one part of me ends and another begins. I will be completely integrated and restored. The ugliest parts of me will be made beautiful. The beautiful parts of me will be made new. Forever.
So, even though I didn’t particularly enjoy today’s Me, I trust that God is at work in her and through her.
And, even though I’m not sure which Me will wake up tomorrow, I know that whoever she is, God has an eternal plan for her, for us, for me.