To the Husbands of Our Youth

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One hot September evening…

Dear Husbands of Our Youth,

We know it’s been a rough go sometimes. And we know marriage can be really hard work. We also know you love us, but honestly, we don’t understand why you say women are so complicated, unpredictable, and hard to please. It’s just not true.

Let us explain.

First, we are NOT complicated. We are a simple straightforward gender. You just need to remember these basic things:

If your wife is quiet, it means she is sad. Unless the silence has lasted for more than twenty-four hours. If that’s the case, it means she is angry. If she’s sad, you must gently pursue her. If she’s angry, you must give her some space. And when we say “pursue”, we know you heard “SEX”. For the record, this quiet sad/angry time is not a signal that we want you. Yes, seriously. 

If your wife is talkative, it means she is feeling close to you. Please affirm her by looking her in the eye and listening attentively. Do NOT try to fix everything. She just wants to be heard and affirmed. Unless you can fix something. Then for crying out loud, why haven’t you already done so? <<Silence>>

If you are taking your wife out on a date, she wants you to arrange the details: the reservations, the schedule, the sitter, etc. She wants to feel swept away, like a princess without a care in the world. But please don’t dictate the whole evening! Men can be so bossy!

And at night, she wants rest, but don’t forget the romance. She wants her alone-time, but please stay close. She wants intimacy, but for Pete’s sake, stop touching her!

Simmer down there, buddy. We’re still not talking about sex. We’ll let you know.

Easy peasy, so far, right?

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… two youths got married.

Second, some women have a reputation for being unpredictable. And while there is a shred of truth in that, we are more consistent than we get credit for.

For example, chances are, your wife never wants to cook. Unless she just got off Pinterest and is in the mood to do so. Or her girl friends are coming over for book club. Then, she totally wants to. In either case, please don’t offer to take over the kitchen, or she’ll feel threatened and criticized. But if she looks like she needs help, don’t just sit there for crying out loud! Oh, and don’t forget to talk long about how much you love the new recipe. Yes, you love it.

One more thing here… if you’re taking your bride to dinner and she’s trying to decide what to wear, and she asks your opinion, please be honest and give it. Unless it’s the wrong time of the month, then lying is definitely okay. Or, unless she’s holding two outfits for you to choose from. Then always choose the one in her right hand. Or the one that she’s shaking on the hanger more. Or the one that matches her nail polish. You did notice her nail polish, right?

And no matter what she’s wearing, compliment her hair on the way out the door. Unless it’s really humid. Or she’s wearing a hat. Then don’t mention her hair at all.

Oh, and she might get flirty and mention a “special dessert” after supper, if you know what we mean. (Yes, this is the sex part.) You can count on it. Unless you complain about the bill. Or the humidity changes. Or her outfit starts making her feel fat…  Why did you tell her to wear that, anyway?

If you just keep these simple rules in mind, we are as predictable as death and …  Well, let’s just say you can set your watch by us. Unless we are pregnant. Or have entered menopause. Or just started a new diet …

Third, some men find women hard to please. If you feel that you can’t do anything to please your wife, you should definitely talk to her about it. She truly wants to hear your heart. An open line of communication is so very important in marriage.

But first, pour her a glass of wine. And make sure you remembered to take the trash out. And did you cut the grass? Oh, and don’t forget to treat her to a girls’ night out once in a while. Flowers are nice, too. Wait. Did you remember to fix the dryer? We’re all ears, love.

We hope this helps, loyal bride-groom. You’re doing great. And we love that you have promised to grow old with us.

Wait. Is that a gray hair, already?! Are you stressed? We’ll talk later…

All our love,

The Wives of Your Youth

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Nearly twenty-four years later…

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” Proverbs 16:31


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20 thoughts on “To the Husbands of Our Youth

  1. Beth Willis Miller July 14, 2015 / 4:31 am

    Karen, what a great, loving, thought-provoking post! Your wonderfully well-worded post expresses our needs. Many blessings to you and your sweet husband…great photos ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. betsydecruz July 14, 2015 / 5:24 am

    Karen! You made my head spin. (Now I know how my husband must feel sometimes.) And you made me laugh. Oh, we’re easy-peasy and straightforward all the time. How come these guys can’t figure us out after 20 years, for crying out loud! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen Brown July 14, 2015 / 5:31 am

      Betsy- I’m glad it made you laugh! Laughter goes a long way in marriage. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  3. Mary Geisen July 14, 2015 / 5:44 am

    Love this today. Your words describe what every wife wishes her husband intuitively knew when the many intricacies of her personality show up. I had a smile on my face as I read this even though I am no longer married. But I remember, oh yes, I remember all these same emotions and how I just wanted to be understood each time. Great words!

    Happy anniversary of almost 24 years and God’s blessing for many more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen Brown July 14, 2015 / 5:47 am

      Mary- Thanks so much for reading and smiling with me today. We are a complicated people, aren’t we? 🙂

      Like

  4. kaylietess July 14, 2015 / 7:09 am

    I giggled. So many giggles. It’s all just so true!

    Like

  5. Sandy kippenberger July 14, 2015 / 8:08 am

    Karen,
    I’m so glad I’m not the husband – right?
    Thanks friend, sandy

    Like

  6. Julie Lefebure July 14, 2015 / 8:36 am

    Love this, Karen! My favorite post of the day! You made me laugh, you made me ponder, and you blessed me with your words of truth. Happy Anniversary! May God continue to bless and prosper your beautiful marriage! Much love to you today.

    Like

  7. dawnlizjones July 14, 2015 / 10:38 am

    Brilliant! Hilariously brilliant! New follower here and glad I found you, looking forward to more of your insights (once my laptop is fixed and I can get off this crazy tablet, that is. Too bad my hubby couldn’t fix it…) Going on 36 years, with the hub, not the laptop:-)

    Like

  8. Tiffany Parry July 14, 2015 / 11:08 am

    Oh, Karen – this is priceless. You really nailed it! I laughed out loud at the words and agree – we are pretty predictable when we get down to it, but you’ve so delicately proven that so are our guys. 🙂 Loved seeing the photos of you and your hubby over time, so sweet! Thanks for sharing with us. #testimonytuesday

    Like

  9. Ifeoma Samuel July 14, 2015 / 11:49 am

    I kept a wide smile from the beginning to the end of the post. Excellent piece friend. This will make a entry for a good book!

    Many blessings to you.

    Like

  10. Abby July 14, 2015 / 1:45 pm

    Love this, Karen! Mean everywhere need to read this post. 🙂 Thank you for making me smile today, friend.

    Like

  11. Christi Gee (@ChristiLGee) July 15, 2015 / 6:02 am

    Such a fun way to start out my morning, new friend! I woke to find your deep, thoughtful, and encouraging comment on my blog and came to see who you are. My favorite people to hang out with are those who make me contemplate the deep stuff of life one moment and the next have me laughing, trying to hold in the drink I just sipped right when they delivered a one-liner. You have this gift. So glad to learn you are over here and looking forward to knowing you better!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Heather July 15, 2015 / 9:18 am

    This was absolutely hilarious!! I love it! Thanks for sharing Karen!! I’ve only been married 5 years, but I may need to forward it to my dear husband all the same… ♥

    Like

  13. Kristin Hill Taylor July 15, 2015 / 1:35 pm

    Oh, I love this. My husband and I were just offering some advice to a new friend getting ready to get married and it sounded a lot like this. 🙂 So glad you linked this up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    Like

  14. pourcettetemps August 18, 2015 / 12:32 pm

    wow. I just made my mom stop reading her book so I could read this too her. Spot on and hilarious to boot. Thank you so much for breaking it down Karen 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen Brown August 18, 2015 / 12:35 pm

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it! I truly appreciate your stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

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