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A Woman in Leadership

Karen Brown14 Comments

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Since being in a leadership role at my church, a question I’m frequently asked is: “What’s it like being a woman in leadership?” It almost always catches me off-guard, but I’m quickly reminded of what my role must look like from a distance.

Many days, I’m often the only one at meetings without a Y chromosome. As the first woman in my position, I had to be approved by a roomful of suits. I have an office, a title, and a team.

But I really don’t feel like a leader, to be honest. Maybe because I’m still relatively new in my role. Maybe because I was promoted from within and my co-workers are also my long-time friends. Maybe because the word “leader” seems to imply that I should know where to go, what to do, and how. I don’t.

Sometimes I get caught up in “improving my leadership skills”. I read the blogs and listen to the podcasts about “casting a vision” and “inspiring the team”. Apparently, I’m supposed to think more about “empowerment” and “innovation”. Occasionally, I take notes and make flow-charts. I set agendas and SMART goals. And eventually, I make myself sick… Continue reading →

When the Pew is Just Too Hard

Karen Brown8 Comments

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At the Call to Worship, I stood and sighed.

The calendar was on its last page and I was on my last leg, tired from holiday prep, tired from my work, and honestly, too tired for church.

Don’t get me wrong… I love my job. I love ministry. I love my church. But there are times when the pew is just too hard.

Continue reading →

The Morning Tide

Karen Brown15 Comments

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There is that moment in the very early morning, when I’m half awake and I don’t quite know where or when I am.

When the light hits only the highest places, when the heat of the day is still distant, and I’m still allowing sleep’s current to take me wherever…

It’s the sweet moment when the quiet fills my room and my soul and I can’t remember anything.

Then, the alarm sounds and it all rushes back.  Continue reading →

The Mom Behind the Machine

Karen Brown19 Comments

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I used to go to my room to cry.

I would hold it together until I fixed a snack for one child, pulled down a toy for another, and assigned math pages to two more. Finally, with trembling lip, I’d hustle down the hallway to the privacy of my bedroom.

There, my God and my pillow absorbed the tears. Because someone called with bad news. Or I didn’t get my way in marriage. Because it was the wrong time of the month. Or mothering and homeschooling four kids was just plain lonely and hard. Continue reading →

Sunday School Lessons I Wish I Never Taught

Karen Brown12 Comments
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As a Sunday school coordinator, and as our session is ending, I’ve been thinking a lot about what our students have learned this year.

We studied parables, Old Testament prophecies, the significance of the Passover, and The Great Commission. I expected them to learn these things, and I’m glad they did. But as I observed, taught, and listened, I realize they also learned some lessons that we didn’t plan, lessons that might end up hurting them – and the church – in the end… Continue reading →

Heaven Off Highway E

Karen Brown21 Comments

Recently, my sister sent me a link to a real-estate listing. Because neither one of us is house hunting, I was curious. I clicked on it and saw a picture of a small white house with black shutters sitting between a field and a pond. Immediately, I recognized it as the ranch that my paternal grandparents lived in when we were growing up.

My grandparents have been gone for many years. I hadn’t seen it since I was a teenager when my Granny was in the kitchen and my Pa was sick in bed.

Each photo in the gallery brought with it memories I didn’t even know I still had: picking apart cattails by the pond, the smell of fish food in a container by the dock, the sound of our station-wagon tires turning onto the gravel driveway from Highway E…

By the time I clicked to the last photo, tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t exactly sad, but I wasn’t happy either. Sometimes tears are mysterious.  Continue reading →

Twenty Years

Karen Brown3 Comments

As of last month, it’s been twenty years since my first-born was placed into my arms. It seems like yesterday, and so long ago at the same time.

I look at his tiny body in the picture and can’t believe that he is now a man: strong, talented, intelligent, sensitive, and godly.

And I look into the face of the young version of myself and remember. She is clueless about being a mother, but Continue reading →

The Only One

Karen BrownLeave a comment
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Recently, my pre-teen daughter went to a birthday party. When I picked her up, she got in the car and slumped on the seat, frowning. No “Hi Mom”, no “Thanks for picking me up”, no nothing.

“What’s wrong? Wasn’t the party fun?” I asked.


”Mom, I was, like, the only one, pretty much, without an iPhone.”

I exhaled, trying to blow out my frustration and away words that I didn’t want to say. 
You see, lately, I’ve been hearing “I’m the only one...” statements a lot from my kids Continue reading →

Three Clocks

Karen BrownLeave a comment

 

On a shelf in my soul sits a wooden hourglass,
Where sands no longer run.
The top bell is empty; the bottom is still,
Reminding me of His work that’s been done.
Resting, quiet, and peaceful,
This timepiece no longer enslaves.
The war is over, and victory is won
Through an empty cross and grave.

Continue reading →